Six Years Ago...

Six years ago yesterday was the last time I ever talked to my Dad. It was Bruce's birthday. For some reason we were out washing the car, my old black Saab that I loved. He called. I know we talked about some mundane thing. Some problem that I was having at the time? I can't even remember. You would think I would. It's lost to me now. I know I told him that I loved him. I always did. It was always something we did. Six years ago this morning, the phone jolted Bruce and I awake. It was 6am. The call I had been dreading. Bruce answered. I could hear my Mom in the background. It wasn't good. She'd called 911. They were on the way. Go Bruce, I can't do it. I want to stay here and hide. I want to go back to last night. Why didn't I go with my gut? I knew something was wrong, I just couldn't face it. Bruce left. Jeni called. Can't remember what we talked about. I took a shower. Cried my eyes out. Got Colter and Justine ready for school. Told them Grandpa was sick. Didn't say he was dying. Took them to school. Bruce called. He was following the ambulance. He said he'd call from the hospital. Mom called. "It's ok Paige. He just can't breathe". I knew it was worse. Bruce called again. He'd come pick me up, and he did. We drove Mason to Grandma Joyce's. We went to the house first. We needed to take Shadow to the Vet. She fell apart when my Dad collapsed. She needed to be put down. It was her time, it had been for awhile, but Dad kept her going. Now she was going with him. The first thing I noticed was that everything in the living room was moved. The paramedics had worked like crazy to revive him, and it showed. I'll never get that out of my mind. Poor Shadow. We took her to the vet. Goodbye's were said. I told her to hold a place for Dad. She knew. We got to the hospital. I saw my Dad. He was gone, but still here. Again, I couldn't face it. I held his hand, I told him I loved him, then I walked out. I saw my family. All gathered in a tiny, dimly lit room. Sadness. The Cardiologist came in. Then a Neurologist. They needed to check his brain function. If there was no brain function, there was no more Dad. In the blur of the comming days, they told us there was no more Dad. We made the decsion that he would have wanted, and on June 9th 2003, my dear Dad left this world. I miss him more than I can ever say. There isn't a moment that I don't think about him. If I could talk to him, there is so much I would tell him. How he was such an inspiration to me. He taught me so much, but I feel like there was more I needed to learn. TO BE CONTINUED......